A Long-Cherished Dream

 

“What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up. Like a raisin in the sun? Or fester like a sore — And then run?” -Langston Hughes 

 

I applied to Peabody Preparatory to learn the violin. I received news a week after that I was placed with a private teacher in their adult program. 

I was scared. I do not read music and I never held an instrument. I made the choice to be honest about this when I met for my interview.

I wanted to play the violin as a child. I shared that. I didn’t share that, because we couldn’t afford it, I never pursued any form of music education. I don’t seek out heartache.

“Do you listen to classical music?” my interviewer asked.

“No.” I replied.

As we talked, I shared that I would practice daily and we discussed my work hours for placement.

Outside the room were pre-teens and their parents sitting pensively with instruments. 

 

 

 

These kids could be prodigies, I thought.

I texted my mom when the interview was over. These lessons were her milestone birthday gift to me. As I stepped outside the school I thought, Well…at least you tried.

When I hold my violin and the bow hits strings, and my teacher instructs me on what to do, a wall inside me will fall.

I hope I can hold in the wave of tears.